Indianapolis, IN – Andrea Bargnani went bananas against the pacers, dropping 70! SEVENTY POINTS.  The Raptors scored 94 total and Bargnani scored 70 of them!

His line:
70 Pts (30-36 FG, 4/4 FT, 6/7 3 PT)
5 Rebounds
1 Steal
1 Assist
ZERO TURNOVERS

Hilariously many Raptors had career highs in assists, Calderon dropped 12, Mansiz had 7, Oliverio had 7, and Buruk had 5.

For the Pacers Leandro Alvarado had 16 pts, this is only notable because he is from Puerto Rico.

“Bargnani! So crazy,” said Alvarado after the game. “He remind me of Daddy Yankee! PUERTO RIIIICO!”

All the Raptors agree that he is the coolest player in the NBA.

pavaoOklahoma City, OK – This was a big game for the Toronto Raptors, but many would say it was an even bigger game for Pavao Radja. The 7′ Croatian Center signed a 5 year, 90 million dollar deal in Oklahoma and outright refused to even consider resigning with Toronto. The entire city of Toronto turned against him faster than they did against Tracy McGrady, Steve Francis, or Antonio Davis (“I’m worried about my kids going to school in Canada”). Thankfully the Raptors are an organization fueled by spite so they just went ahead and drafted Pavao’s brother Bruno in the 1st round of the NBA draft.

Those expecting a close game were disappointed as the Raptors came away with 100-92 victory and held the lead for the entire game.

“My brother is not a good man,” said Bruno Radja, who had 6 points. “I think he is evil and I wish that he had been killed in his sleep by muslims. Also, his shoes are so gay now.”

Bruno went ahead and backed up those words by playing strong in the post and outright BLOCKING his brother (video here). Pavao did have a solid game, going for 17 points, 4 reb, 4 asst, 1 steal, 2 blocks. Is that 90 million dollars worth of talent? We shall see.

“All eyes on me!” said Mansiz after the game. No one is sure where he learned the expression but many suspect Monte Clement, the only player on the team not from Europe.

Mansiz HIGHLIGHTS

And as, always the leader of the team Andrea Bargnani played well, dropping in 22 pts, 3 rebs, 3 asst, 1 steal, 1 block

New York, NY – The Toronto Raptors (#2 in the NBA Power Rankings) lost their opening game of the season to the newly powerful New York Knicks (three players with the star logo). The loss is directly attributable to Hakan Mansiz’s bruised tailbone. When he’s not 100% the Raptors cannot hope to be 100%

“I am sore,” said Mansiz after the game. “My English, not so much good.”

Monte Clement from Montreal is really the only player on the team who can speak proper English said that the Knicks with Danny Granger, Derrick Johansen, and Tyrus Thomas are really a solid team.

“We only lost by two,” said Clement. “Mansiz was hurt, what do you want? And Gasol is getting tired really easily. I think he’s started smoking weed.”

Also of note Ernesto Oliviero proved himself to be the most reliable Raptor and will likely find himself in the starting rotation as the aging Jose Calderon will have to step down to prevent Oliverio from trying to leave in the of season.

Raptors looked good.  Here is Hakan Mansiz schooling 21 year veteran Kobe Bryant (he was fouled on this play)

Meet Hakan Mansiz
6’7″
235 lbs
From Turkey
#1 SG in the NBA
#3 Overall Player
4 Time NBA Champion
All Star 2016
2nd Team All Defensive 2013, 2015, 2016
2nd Team All Rookie 2011
The Raptors were not expecting to draft Mansiz in 20XX, but after a 1 on 1 session with Tracy McGrady, they were sold.  In the fifteen minutes, he dunked 6 times, blocked T-mac and basically disrespected in every possible way.  McGrady, matured from his first stint in Toronto, took it in stride and made a strong recommendation that the Raptors draft him.

Hakan Mansiz was born and raised in the small Turkish city of Ankara.  Growing up his parents always dreamed about him playing for Türk Telekom in the Turkish Basketball League. But after attending his first game he remarked “these are NBA and college washouts! I can beat these guys.”  That was when former UConn star and Turk Telecom legend Khalid El Amin heard him.  “Come down here and play then,” said El Amin.  Mansiz did not flinch, and even though he was only 14 years old he stepped on the court and played in jean shorts and a mesh tanktop.  He scored 14 pts, 5 assists, and 2 rebounds.  El Amin had to give him respect.

Mansiz immediately dropped out of high school and played basketball full time.  Neither of his parents put up resistance, his father even said: “why should he go to high school? to learn to be a cell phone salesman? Fuck that, and fuck Turk Telecom, where our trophy?”

Once Mansiz was drafted by the Raptors he immediately blew up, making the All Rookie team and eventually All NBA First Team Defense.

He is currently rated as the #3 player in the league, though many think that will change this year as he takes a bigger role in the Raptors offense.

First Pick (Traded a #11 and a #18)
Hakan Buruk (#6)
Drafted #5 Overall (2016)
6’7″
237 lbs
Age: 22
83 Overall
FROM TURKEY

Hakan Buruk grew up loving Hakan Mansiz and tried to style his game after him.  He is also 6’7″, he is happy to be on the Raptors as the large Turkish Population in Toronto has welcomed him with open arms.  When the Raptors drafted him they all took to the streets and honked horns and waved Turkish Flags, many Toronto residents remarked “what? is there another soccer game on? gross.”

BRUNO RADJA
Drafted 27th Overall by the Wizards (Traded Texas Tech Guard for him)
7′,
243 lbs
Age: 20
From Croatia
70 OVR

The brother of Raptor Traitor Pavao Radja, he is still pretty rough around the edges.  His rebounding needs work and his inside scoring could definitely improve.  He is not as good as his brother yet, but he does have one thing his brother doesn’t have: a positive outlook on Toronto.  His brother was expecting to love the city as soon as he caught, but a complete failure of the Toronto Croatian Population (notably Ennis Blentic) failed to reach out him and make him feel welcome.  Well, they aren’t going to make the same mistake twice.  Bruno has been welcomed with open arms and a number of late night coffee talks about politics at Cafe Diplomatico.

Though is a blood relative of Pavao, he considers him to be an enemy.  They were raised by different mothers in Croatia, but they do share a single father: Dino Radja.  That’s right, the former NBA Star fathered two children in Croatia during the offseason from the Boston Celtics.  He would make the brothers play a one on one game every summer to see which one was awarded child support (note: the Croatian legal system is different than the US).  Pavao won all the games, so Bruno grew up in relative poverty.

So after a long hiatus from this site.  Riverdale Palm Trees is back in full effect and will now be following my NBA 2k9 dynasty.

But before I start with the constant updates it’s important to fill you in on what has happened so far.

  • I took over the Raptors for the 2008-2009 season.  My early moves were to trade Chris Bosh and Jamario Moon to the Lakers for Pau Gasol and Sasha Vujajic
  • I eventually guided the Raptors to 4 straight NBA Titles through the draft, having selected players like Turkish All Star Hakan Mansiz, Ernesto Oliverio, and Pavao Radja (more on him later)
  • Andrea Bargnani has grown into the best player in the NBA, he has 2 MVP awards and 4 NBA Finals MVP awards.
  • Kobe Bryant now plays for the Phoenix Suns.

Here are some highlights of Hakan Mansiz:

No more press releases about Indiana or SMU.  The truth is that I never left the Wildcats.  I just took a break.  I tried to move to NCAA 2008 and while the game is fantastic with wonderful graphics, it has been truly impossible to leave behind my heart.

Watch this space for a possible return to glory and Wildcat football.

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