Riverdale Palm Trees

First Quarter

Second Quarter

Third Quarter

Fourth Quarter

Please force someone you love, or work with to watch this. It would continue the great tradition started when Schiavone made his brother Kenny watch USC play Alabama in our NCAA 99 Championship Game. Awesome.

Sooooo…SVSW was played…all four quarters are up at youtube, but not the point when I can direct link in a post. So if you just can’t wait - head on over to youtube and look at my videos…

holleur

NFL 2008 Draft Class
Arizona Picks

Willie Tuitama, QB - Drafted by the Arizona Cardinals in the 1st round, Leinhart is not happy.  After Leinhart got hurt in the middle of the season, Tuitama led the Cards to a superbowl loss.  Hometown will always beat USC.

Travis Bell, TE DRAFTED 5th round by the Carolina Panthers

Ronnie Palmer, MLB - A superstar at Arizona, goes undrafted.

NFL Draft 2009
Xavier Smith - HB - predicted as 1st/2nd Rounder * 2/33 - Detroit Lions - Xavier is not the happiest person in the world to be going to Detroit, but he’s gonna be the best back there since Barry.

Ryan Hall LG - Projected as top G * 1/26 San Francisco 49ers - The Niners need him.  He’s going to be a fixture there for fifteen years.

Daniel Borg RG - projected as #5 5/135 CLEVELAND - hopes to make the team.

Blake Kerley C - 7th Rounder UNDRAFTED - A great center, this is a travesty.

Donald Horton, JR - DT - projected 4th Rounder 2/61 - Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinatti was smart to grab him in the 2nd round, he’s a run stopping superstar, and will probably be a pro bowler.

Xavier Kelley - Projected 5th/6th 5/157 - Atlanta Falcons - Steal of the draft.

Devin Ross - #1 CB!* 1/18 - Miami Dolphins - a cover corner legend.  Guaranteed probowler.

Corey Hall - 6th/7th Rd Safety PHI - Hopes to make the team
♦

NFL 2010 Draft

Justin Thomas - DB - 5/129 Atlanta Falcons - a late pick, a great player, but lucky to get drafted.

Stanley Scott - C - 2/41 Detroit Lions - they love the Cats! Stanley Scott is Oklahoma pride.

Rick Spicer - MLB - 4/114 - Oakland Raiders - Rick Spicer got a lot of media attention, hit hard, made a lot of highlight reels but is less than sound on the fundamentals.  He’s perfect in Oakland.

Derke Robinson - RB - 2/49 Seattle Seahawks - He’s fast, strong, and will probably be a solid back for years to come.

Antoine Simmons - DE - 3/78 Houston Texans - Houston continues to make bad draft decisions with Defensive Lineman.

Mike Ealy - WR - 2/58 Chicago Bears - Ealy was really overshadowed by Justin Abdullah at Arizona, but even Abdullah will be the first to admit that Ealy’s speed and hands kept coverages split.  This is an absolute DRAFT JACK.

Michael Turner - DB - 1/28 - DEN - An amazing DB out of Arizona’s solid stable of Corners and DBs.  They are Cornerback U.

Tucson, AZ - The Nebraska Cornhuskers came into Tucson and pulled out a miraculous 20-17 upset, in a game that would have belonged to the Wildcats if Dane Wright had not thrown 4 picks and taken 4 more sacks.

“This wasn’t my fault,” said Wright after the game. “This was the fault of my offensive line. F*ck that, I’m calling all of them out, they lost us this game. Not me. And maybe if Justin could learn to come back to the ball or, oh, TRY once in a while, maybe I wouldn’t have thrown picks. This is some bullsh*t.”

No members of the offensive line would comment.

Josh Powell had eight tackles and an interception and looks to be on pace for an All American year. The rest of the defense looked good, but the defensive line appears to be a real weakness, and the ‘Cats are struggling to bring top quality defensive linemen to Tucson.

Josh Selmon had this to say through a prepared statement: “I have let my team down, and believe me, there was no bigger punishment than watching them lose to Nebraska today. I will be back next week against Alabama, and I will give everything I have. I just hope that the fans can forgive me, and that we can beat a very good ‘Bama team.”

Justin Abdullah set the NCAA Record for Receiving yards in the game. “It doesn’t mean a thing if we lose. This was going to be a great moment for me and Josh. And now, it’s this.”

Tucson, AZ - The unthinkable has happened.  Josh Selmon has been suspended for the season opener against Nebraska.  Allegedly he tried to pull a grade school trick and got caught.  Although there are suspicions that the forged doctor’s signature was not on a note, but on a prescription for Oxycotin.

When approached for comment, Selmon said “no comment,” and ducked back into a practice facility.

After being announced as the starter for the first time in his career, sophmore Dane Wright said “Thank god, I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.  Get ready for a show.”

The Arizona faithful are nervous, and some are concerned that coach Stoops cut the 2 game suspension to a single game suspension.

“We cannot play SVSW without Josh, not gonna happen,” said Stoops.

After a solid recruiting class, and an A+ rating across the board.  Arizona enters this season with a #4 Ranking, and aspirations of finally bringing the Heisman to Tucson.

(translated from Arabic from Morocco and Africa Today)

Moroccan Daily: How are you today Marcel?

Marcel Nakfoor: I am excellent, blessed is this day.

MD: Now, for our readers, can you explain exactly what you do?

MN: I kick a football through some posts for the University of Arizona.

MD: Hmmm, why do you not play soccer?

MN: Because I was only offered a partial scholarship to Indiana to play soccer, I was offered full scholarships to Arizona, USC, Virginia, Ohio State, and McGill.

MD: McGill! You must go there! Your Arabic brothers! The night clubs! The availability of tight black shirts! The music of Massari! (pictured)

MN: Massari is a good artist. It was a tough choice, but I want to play in the NFL.

MD: What is that?

MN: National Football League.

MD: Why is that?

MN: Because they will pay millions to keep on kicking. I am very good you see.

MD: Excellent, what will you do with the money.

MN: Build a Mosque with my helmet on top.

MD: It says here that you won the Groza award 2 years in a row. Is that the award for best Muslim?

MN: No, it is the award for the best kicker.

MD: Like the Harabaikrit Award for best Footballer! Why did you not win this year?

MN: I do not know. I was named first team All-American–

MD: You are American?

MN: Permanent Resident, my parents move to USA when I was in High School.

MD: Very good!

MN: So I was first team All-American, but not winner of the Groza.

MD: Do you suspect racism?

MN: I am loathe to suspect racism…

MD: But did not Justin Abdullah lose the Heisman too?

MN: That is one of the great injustices of our time. He has been the best receiver in College Football history for two years, and has no Heismans. I am upset.

MD: Racism?

MN: Yes, I am starting to think so.

MD: Did you dream of 4 straight Grozas?

MN: Of course! No one could break that record! Only tie it! I am very sad, but it is my mission to win it this year, and be a 4 time All American, and 3 Time Groza Winner.

MD: Are you the best kicker in Arizona history?

MN: Yes.

MD: Very succinct! Now, what has it been like studying at an American college?

MN: Wonderful! I spend much time with the International Students Association and have many good friends.

MD: Do you drink?

MN: Never!

MD: Do you remain chaste?

MN: I never drink.

At this point, the entire sorority house of Sigma Nu enters the room and carries Marcel out on a emperor’s chair. Apparently, he has a big, um, hram. These girls love him. He said on the way out that he hopes Utah gets an NFL team so he can marry them all.

Click below for full page view of The Wildcats Depth Chart

Here are the recruits

Arizona had the #3 class in the nation, while Michigan pulled in #1.

1. Jacob Burton, #2 Punter
Fountain Hills, AZ
6′2″ 202lbs

Jacob comes from a place that is only 96% white, the poor kid struggled with his guilt about the one student in his class who was half Japanese. Growing up in a rich Phoenix suburb was tough for a punter, while his friends were at Dave Matthews Band Concerts, he was in a private box at the concert working out his leg. He always dreamed about going to USC, but the bloated public schools that are only in business to build fancy computer rooms and big sports facilities taught him nothing.  His SAT score was too low for USC.  Since he finished in the top 2% of his class, he got free tuition to the UofA and will walk on.

2. Andre Cummings, #5 Cornerback
Jupiter, FL
6”3″ 183 lbs

Coming from Jupiter, Florida, Spring Training Home of the Montreal Expos, Andre always dreamed of playing RF at Olympic Stadium. His rooms were plastered with pictures of Tim Wallach, Vladimir Guerrero, Javier Vasquez, and Jose Vidro. He loved Montreal, he tried making bagels in his kitchen, but his parents just didn’t understand. When the Expos moved to Washington, he was crushed. He went full on into football and earned himself a scholarship to what is becoming Cornerback U - Michael Turner, Josh Powell, and Antoine Cason are all superstars.

3. Deonne Heard, #3 Athlete
Franklin, TN
6′10″ 324 lbs
Please REEXAMINE the size of Deonne Heard, he is SIX FOOT TEN, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FOUR POUNDS. Growing up black in the home of Country Superstars Vince Gill, Amy Grant, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood and Alan Jackson was not a problem, he loves three things: 1. Jesus, 2. Country Music, 3. Bustin heads. He will probably move to Tackle, although some want to see him at DE or TE. This guy is gonna be a superstar.

4. Maurice Hurst #4 Athlete
Mission, KS
6′2″ 178 lbs
Ain’t much going on in Mission besides football. Maurice Hurst was adopted by a Native American family and raised in a traditional native American household. He respects his Earth Mother and will be spending his off days working with the Native communities around Tucson. Partly in hopes of getting some of that sweet Desert Diamond money.

5. Ben Miles , #4 Tackle (JuCo)
South San Francisco, CA
6′2″ 319 lbs
A JuCo transfer from South San Francisco looks to make an impact on the Wildcats O-line, although he might be shifted to Defensive end before the season begins. He will only be here for two years, and probably won’t even start, so most people aren’t talking to him. He’s kind of weird and really likes Quake, Marilyn Manson, Gus Van Sant’s Elefant, and Insane Clown Posse.

6. Rob Rush, #3 Cornerback
Mansfield, TX
6′3″ 172
From the same town as Kelly Clarkson, Rob Rush played hockey most of his life, mainly because of his name. He was drafted at age 15 by the Peterborough Petes and played for three weeks before hightailing it back to Texas after he got a groupie from Surrey, BC Pregnant on a road trip. How the girl from Surrey made it to that Belleville Hotel, no one knows.  But there are rumors of Greyhound, and more likely she got there by hitching a ride with a guy not unlike the one who tried to molest Wheels on Degrassi.

7. PJ Osei, #3 Tackle
Cerritos, CA
6′9″ 275
PJ Osei is the biggest Japanese kid ever. He has a standing invitation to move to Japan and compete as a Sumo Wrestler, but he couldn’t pass on the opportunity to play at Arizona and beat USC. He hates the Trojans will all of his heart, and cannot wait to bust some heads, Sumo style. He also only dates white girls, and has been picketed by the AACA, though they have invited him to a number of freestyle dance contests and DDR battles.

8. John Lewis, #2 Middle Linebacker
Middletown, OH
6′2″ 228 lbs
Did someone say working class? John Lewis spent his summers working the AK Steel Mill, earning a living the hard way. He has lost and reattached four fingers, and seen three coworkers killed in accidents. He is tough, and there are some concerns that he will get into a lot of fights at Arizona.   He has already been banned from Maloneys, and he hasn’t even made it to campus.  The Hut is also considering a ban. This guy loves to fight, he loves to hit, he loves to drink, and he hates homosexuals. Which will make things interesting considering the arrival of…

9. James Robinson, #3 Guard
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA
6′7″ 303 G #3
Adopted by two successful gay men in West Hollywood, CA, Robinson was  immersed in Gay culture from an early age. Though not gay himself, he’s very well adjusted, open to new ideas, and fiercely passionate about the fight for Gay Rights, and the battle against homophobia. Considering his considerable size, he’s not afraid to fight those who would oppress his people. It will be one of the major story lines over the next few years to see how his relationship with Lewis is affected.

10. Patrick Rodridguez #1 Outside Linebacker
Lewisville TX
6′5″ 235
The #1 OLB in the country grew up a big time Cowboys fan, and a hater of airplanes (considering Lewisville is right near DFW Airport). He came to Arizona for the strong Latino presence and has made it his mission to raise the profile of Latinos in sports, and bring a little Reggaeton flavor to the Wildcats.

11. Travis Bailey, #8 Defensive End
Lone Grove, OK
DE 6′4″ 230 LB
Lone Grove. That pretty much says it all. Bailey is a RED NECK. He likes trucks, country, American flags, the troops, guns, and freedom. He has already been talking with Selmon about starting a prayer group.  He was going to go to Oklahoma, but thought it was too close to the word Homo and decided to go to Arizona instead.

12. Andrew Banks, #12 Wide Reciever
Heyburn, ID
6′1″ 172 lbs
After watching Greg Brock come in and fulfill the great 3rd down white possession reciever, Andrew Banks came to Arizona to take over as Brock moves up to the #2 position. He was a star at Minico, and represents Lou Dobbs to the fullest. He hates outsourcing, and is enrolling in Arizona’s Engineering program where he has promised to show the Indian grad students “that Americans do it best.”

13. Kevin Bonds, #24 Middle linebacker
Wickenburg, AZ
5′11″ 234
Bonds and Arizona, is it who you think? Yep. This is Barry Bonds kid, the one that he had with the French Canadian stripper. He was going to go to Arizona State on a baseball scholarship, but decided he hated his dad and “didn’t want his life” (big ups

14. Mark McCray, #1 Free Safety
Oceanside, CA
6′3″ 224 FS
Mark McCray from Oceanside is the next in a long line of white pyscho safeties. Hoping to follow fellow So Cal White Safety Jacob Gray into the promised land of Arizona defensive secondary greatness.  He likes surfing, dirtbikes, Sublime, Jack Johnson, bonfires, and the movie

After doing this, I’ve realized that I do need to build a wiki.