Riverdale Palm Trees

The Arizona-Wisconsin BCS Championship Game will be broadcast live over the internet using WebHuddle, it’s open source, and it looks like it should work.

The Game will take place on Tuesday, April 3rd at 6:00 p.m. (PST), and I will post information about how to access it as I figure out the Adobe Connect Software. Please leave a comment with your email or contact info (facebook, etc) if you are interested in getting a media pass.

Jason Weaver (Jersey is #3 Seller on Saints Team): “What it do? I just want to give shout outs to my boy Jay-Gib, he gon run it against Wisconsin. We had to go to Green Bay last year and it sucked. Wisconsin is lame. Keep it real y’all and start throwing again.”

Dane Wright (Jersey sales have been stagnant, but still #4 on the Lions squad): “Stay calm Casey, you’re getting to do something that I never did. Remember don’t force passes, hand it to Redwood and try to play like everything depends on this game.”

Patrick Rodriguez (Reggaeton Artist Hector el Father wore a Patrick Rodriguez jersey in his last video, as a result his jersey is a latino uniform now. He is the #1 selling player in the NFL): “I like where the defense is going, you guys are good, not as good as last year, but you’re solid. Nick Robinson is a straight up superstar. But remember this is Big Ten v. Pac Ten, they hate you, they don’t respect you, they think you are from the wild west where offense rules and defense is an after thought. Take that anger, take that pain and use it to humiliate them. Break arms, bite, kick them in the nuts. You are WILDCATS, now go out there and bring another title back to the desert.”

RPT: Hi Guys

Casey Cook: Hello

Will Higgins: ARRRGHHHHHH What a Rush!

RPT: What are you? in the Legion of Doom?

WH: frrhshfh

CC: He’s just excited.

RPT: Did you trainer give him something?

CC: We have to keep him, sedated during the week.  WE take him off the meds for games.

RPT: speaking of meds, how are you Casey?

CC: Clean as a whistle! And thankfully the National Championship will be in Miami, where there won’t be any temptations.

RPT: Uh, yeah.  So you have a history of choking in big games, what will make this different?

CC: Well, I won a national title last year against Fresno State.

RPT: Most people agree they were not a National Championship calibre team.

CC: Maybe.

RPT: So why the struggle in big games?

CC: Can I be honest?

RPT: Please

CC: In all of those big games, SVSW, etc, I was high as a kite.  Meth, Coke, Heroin, everything.  I was bombed.  My water bottle was pure mescaline and crushed up toads that I got from a Shaman in the Arizona desert.

RPT: But you’re clean now?

CC: You bet! I’m ready for this game.  Wisconsin is the toughest team we’ve played all year, and I think I’m ready.

RPT: How many times do you think you’ll pass?

CC: eight or nine.  Mostly I’ll be running the option and handing off to Redwood.

RPT: Speaking of which, do you think he’ll leave early for the NFL?

CC: If he leaves early it’s to join Greenpeace, or live in Tibet.  The guy is dedicated.

RPT: What will you do after graduation?

CC: Not rehab! HAHAHAHA

RPT: (silence)

CC: Seriously though, I think I’ll go back to Illinois to be a counsellor for troubled youth.

RPT: Riiiiight.

CC: What?

RPT: With all of the respective powders in the world waiting to be snorted and injected, you’re just going to let them go?

CC: Uhhhhh

RPT: Is Lindsay Lohan coming to the game?

CC: She is, but for moral support.

RPT: Well, good luck Casey.

Wisconsin Preview

Tim Easley, QB
WHT
Vineland, NJ
92 OVR

2028 yards, 26 TDs, 9 INTs

Jerrell Johnson
Danville, IL
91 OVR
289/1986, 22 TDs, 2 Fmbles

WR
Jeremy Jones
Flandreau, SD
89 OVR
97 Spd
66/960 9 TDs

Defensive Star
69 Tackles
21 TFL
6 Sacks
3 INT

OL
EVERYONE is OVER 90
RT - 90
RG - 96
C - 99
LG - 98
LT - 92

NERVES

WEIRD
Kicker
5/9 fOR THE SEASON

Rankings
YPT #10
Offense #14
Rushing 8th
Passing 80th

Defense
73.4 RYPG, 4th NCAA
25th OVERALL
21st in SAcks
20th in INTs

Arizona
OFfense
#35
Rushing - 13th
Pasing 66th
PPG - 7th

Defense
#10
Passing 11th
Rushing 22nd

Whoa
1 Redzone FG given up

Miami, FL - After the Miami Hurricanes were upset by Wake Forest, Arizona vaulted to the #2 Ranking in the BCS and a shot at their second consecutive national title.

But it is not without controversy. Both West Virginia and Fresno State finished their seasons undefeated, and both received first place votes from coaches and media.

If Arizona does win, it will be interesting to see how the voting breaks down.

“It’s an honor and a shock,” said Coach Stoops.  “I did not think this was a national championship team considering the loss to Alabama.  But they pulled it together and somehow made it here.  I’m proud of them.  I can’t believe that Casey Cook might leave here with two national titles.”

New York, NY - Redwood Haynes was not invited to the Heisman Ceremony in spite of finishing the season with over 2000 yards and 30 touchdowns.  Many speculate the snub was due to Haynes strong environmental beliefs and the Heisman’s strong connections to car manufacturers (in recent years it has been sponsored by Suzuki and Nissan).

“You’re damn right I would have said something,” said Haynes in an interview.  “I would have said this trophy perpetuates one driver one car, unsustainable growth, a lack of support for public transportation, and the growth of gated communities.  It also has done untold damage to our environment and our health.  I spit on the Heisman trophy until it gets it’s integrity back.  And yeah, that’s right, even if I won, I would have smashed it on the ground to make a statement.”

Haynes did win the Maxwell Award and the Doak Walker (both for the second consecutive year), he had no trouble accepted the awards and in both cases pleaded for the audience to switch to CFL light bulbs and try to reduce gasoline consumption.  Haynes was also named First Team All American, and First Team All Pac Ten.

Arizona’s star kicker Jay Gibson took home the Groza Trophy along with First Team All American Honors, First Team All Pac Ten, and First Team Freshman All American.

“Y’all ain’t even announcing the best award,” said Gibson.  “I was named first team All-AFRICAN-American by BET.  I’m the first kicker they’ve had since my man Reggie Roby.  Oh, is the mic still on?  Fuck Da Heisman.”

Tucson, AZ - Rain in November? In Tucson?  Something strange was in the air for the Territorial Cup.  With a wet ground and a fiery rivarly, it seemed like Arizona’s fairy tale season might come to an end and keep them out of the national championship game against Miami.

Casey Cook, who is absolutely terrible under pressure, played amazingly well in the face of a Sun Devil defense that was committed to shutting down the run.  Casey went 4/7 for 118 yards and a touchdown before being taken out of the game with a shoulder injury.

“It’s not too serious,” said Cook after the game.  “ASU guys can’t hurt me, they can bruise me, but that’s mostly just a fluke.  Besides I wanted Brent to get some time against these jerks.”

Arizona’s defense really struggled against ASU’s Jon Jones, an incredible sophomore running back who went 13/123 and a touchdown.

“Yeah he was pretty good,” said Greg White after the game.  “But it’s like when there’s a fly in the room.  You know you’re stronger, smarter, and better looking but you just can’t kill it.  Just like that.  I hope he declares early for the draft, then blows out his knee, or has to play in NFL Europe.”

On Arizona’s side, Redwood Haynes made a final push for the Heisman by running 29 times for 160 yards and two touchdowns.  Though some think that Haynes’ radical environmentalist views will keep him out of the ceremony as many fear that he will use his victory speech to talk about major environmental issues.

Mike McIntosh had a great game catching four balls for 112 yards and a touchdown.

But the offensive hero of the game was Jay Gibson who booted four field goals including one from 49 yards out.

“You surprised?” said Gibson after the game.  “Please.  I could kick a brick between the arms of a five year old.  Wouldn’t even touch the sides.  I kick ballz playa! I KICK BALLZ!”

Notes:

• Greg White - 10 Tackles
• Nick Robinson 4 tackles, 3 SACKS

Wisconsin leapfrogs Arizona to be #2 in the BCS
but
Rankings
1. Miami .950
2. Wisconsin .891
3. Arizona .883

Very very close - if Arizona beats ASU - could be the game
Wisconsin has no more games.

Eugene, OR - Rain, in Oregon, and the Ducks with a QB who can run.  It all looked like a disaster waiting for the Wildcats.  And for most of the first half it looked that way.

The Oregon Ducks came out with a strong defense and their Junior QB Wesley Dodds was tearing up the ‘Cats defense with a five wide set and lots of scrambles.   Going into the final minute of the first half, Oregon led the Wildcats 7-3.  But Casey Cook refused to be contained and drove Arizona down for a score that put them up 10-7 at the half.

In the second half, Arizona just took over.  Though they were not making their way to the endzone, they kept getting inside the 40 where Jay Gibson was able to take over.

“Finally I showed my skills,” said Gibson who went 5/5 on FGs and 2/2 on EPs with a long of 46.  “I had some peoples from the Dub-C drive down.  This was my kind of game.  I’m still feeling like kickin so if any Oregon rednecks want a fight, come find me.”

Gibson was named player of the game and made one kick into a seemingly invisible set of goal posts (see pictured).

Defensively Nick Robinson continued his dominance of Pac Ten offensive linemen with three more sacks.

“Dem Indiana Boys ain’t no joke,” said Robinson.  “You gotta let my boy start playing, we gonna tear it up next year.  Tear it up like Tony Stewart at Daytona, ya heard?”

Notes

• Cook 7/9, 105, 1 TD, 13/54
• Haynes 28/161 0 TDs
• Greg White 7 tkls
• Jon Floyd PR TD