His line:
70 Pts (30-36 FG, 4/4 FT, 6/7 3 PT)
5 Rebounds
1 Steal
1 Assist
ZERO TURNOVERS

Hilariously many Raptors had career highs in assists, Calderon dropped 12, Mansiz had 7, Oliverio had 7, and Buruk had 5.

For the Pacers Leandro Alvarado had 16 pts, this is only notable because he is from Puerto Rico.

“Bargnani! So crazy,” said Alvarado after the game. “He remind me of Daddy Yankee! PUERTO RIIIICO!”

All the Raptors agree that he is the coolest player in the NBA.

Those expecting a close game were disappointed as the Raptors came away with 100-92 victory and held the lead for the entire game.

“My brother is not a good man,” said Bruno Radja, who had 6 points. “I think he is evil and I wish that he had been killed in his sleep by muslims. Also, his shoes are so gay now.”

Bruno went ahead and backed up those words by playing strong in the post and outright BLOCKING his brother (video here). Pavao did have a solid game, going for 17 points, 4 reb, 4 asst, 1 steal, 2 blocks. Is that 90 million dollars worth of talent? We shall see.

“All eyes on me!” said Mansiz after the game. No one is sure where he learned the expression but many suspect Monte Clement, the only player on the team not from Europe.

Mansiz HIGHLIGHTS

And as, always the leader of the team Andrea Bargnani played well, dropping in 22 pts, 3 rebs, 3 asst, 1 steal, 1 block

“I am sore,” said Mansiz after the game. “My English, not so much good.”

Monte Clement from Montreal is really the only player on the team who can speak proper English said that the Knicks with Danny Granger, Derrick Johansen, and Tyrus Thomas are really a solid team.

“We only lost by two,” said Clement. “Mansiz was hurt, what do you want? And Gasol is getting tired really easily. I think he’s started smoking weed.”

Also of note Ernesto Oliviero proved himself to be the most reliable Raptor and will likely find himself in the starting rotation as the aging Jose Calderon will have to step down to prevent Oliverio from trying to leave in the of season.

Meet Hakan Mansiz
6’7″
235 lbs
From Turkey
#1 SG in the NBA
#3 Overall Player
4 Time NBA Champion
All Star 2016
2nd Team All Defensive 2013, 2015, 2016
2nd Team All Rookie 2011
The Raptors were not expecting to draft Mansiz in 20XX, but after a 1 on 1 session with Tracy McGrady, they were sold.  In the fifteen minutes, he dunked 6 times, blocked T-mac and basically disrespected in every possible way.  McGrady, matured from his first stint in Toronto, took it in stride and made a strong recommendation that the Raptors draft him.

Hakan Mansiz was born and raised in the small Turkish city of Ankara.  Growing up his parents always dreamed about him playing for Türk Telekom in the Turkish Basketball League. But after attending his first game he remarked “these are NBA and college washouts! I can beat these guys.”  That was when former UConn star and Turk Telecom legend Khalid El Amin heard him.  “Come down here and play then,” said El Amin.  Mansiz did not flinch, and even though he was only 14 years old he stepped on the court and played in jean shorts and a mesh tanktop.  He scored 14 pts, 5 assists, and 2 rebounds.  El Amin had to give him respect.

Mansiz immediately dropped out of high school and played basketball full time.  Neither of his parents put up resistance, his father even said: “why should he go to high school? to learn to be a cell phone salesman? Fuck that, and fuck Turk Telecom, where our trophy?”

Once Mansiz was drafted by the Raptors he immediately blew up, making the All Rookie team and eventually All NBA First Team Defense.

He is currently rated as the #3 player in the league, though many think that will change this year as he takes a bigger role in the Raptors offense.

Hakan Buruk grew up loving Hakan Mansiz and tried to style his game after him.  He is also 6’7″, he is happy to be on the Raptors as the large Turkish Population in Toronto has welcomed him with open arms.  When the Raptors drafted him they all took to the streets and honked horns and waved Turkish Flags, many Toronto residents remarked “what? is there another soccer game on? gross.”

BRUNO RADJA
Drafted 27th Overall by the Wizards (Traded Texas Tech Guard for him)
7′,
243 lbs
Age: 20
From Croatia
70 OVR

The brother of Raptor Traitor Pavao Radja, he is still pretty rough around the edges.  His rebounding needs work and his inside scoring could definitely improve.  He is not as good as his brother yet, but he does have one thing his brother doesn’t have: a positive outlook on Toronto.  His brother was expecting to love the city as soon as he caught, but a complete failure of the Toronto Croatian Population (notably Ennis Blentic) failed to reach out him and make him feel welcome.  Well, they aren’t going to make the same mistake twice.  Bruno has been welcomed with open arms and a number of late night coffee talks about politics at Cafe Diplomatico.

Though is a blood relative of Pavao, he considers him to be an enemy.  They were raised by different mothers in Croatia, but they do share a single father: Dino Radja.  That’s right, the former NBA Star fathered two children in Croatia during the offseason from the Boston Celtics.  He would make the brothers play a one on one game every summer to see which one was awarded child support (note: the Croatian legal system is different than the US).  Pavao won all the games, so Bruno grew up in relative poverty.

But before I start with the constant updates it’s important to fill you in on what has happened so far.

• I took over the Raptors for the 2008-2009 season.  My early moves were to trade Chris Bosh and Jamario Moon to the Lakers for Pau Gasol and Sasha Vujajic
• I eventually guided the Raptors to 4 straight NBA Titles through the draft, having selected players like Turkish All Star Hakan Mansiz, Ernesto Oliverio, and Pavao Radja (more on him later)
• Andrea Bargnani has grown into the best player in the NBA, he has 2 MVP awards and 4 NBA Finals MVP awards.
• Kobe Bryant now plays for the Phoenix Suns.

Here are some highlights of Hakan Mansiz:

Watch this space for a possible return to glory and Wildcat football.

“I had some great years in Bloomington,” said Lander.  “It’s an honor to come back and try and take the Hoosiers to the next level.  I think Josh will be the coach who can bring our football team to glory.”

Josh Zelman, the star quarterback at Arizona who never got an NFL career off the ground faces a big challenge in bringing the Hoosier back to respectability.

“Kellen Lewis reminds me of a young Dane Wright,” said Zelman.  “I think we have something special in the works here.”

In his first game, Zelman fell behind 14-0 to Indiana State but rallied back to pull out a 41-22 victory.

But, one amazing highlight was Devin Lowery who had 3 INTs for 111 yards and a touchdown.

“It was the game of my life,” said Lowery.  “But we lost, and that was just awful.   It’s unacceptable, I wanted that skillet.”

Justin Willis continued his horrible streak of passing with 11/19 passing for 194 yards and 4 INTs.  A real shame.

The game was tight throughout, and TCU took some leads that looked like cheap computer moves.  Long bombs, and so forth.

This season is a bit of  a wash until the new recruiting classes come in.

But the blame lies squarely with Justin Willis who threw 3 picks and played like garbage.