Five Star
Casey Cook, QB
Elite 11
#2 QB
East Moline, IL
225 lbs
40: 4.43
Field AWR: A+
Arm STR: A+
Pass Accuracy: A-
Bench: 340
Squat: 510

Casey Cook is straight up white trash.  He never professed to be anything else.  East Moline is poor, 11% of families there live below the poverty line, and the Cooks are no exception.  He grew up on a steady diet of Macaroni and Cheese and hotdogs.  As a freshman his arm was incredible, but his physical fitness was terrible.  After his mom was arrested for solicitation and his dad’s “band went on tour,” he moved in with his High School coach.  He led East Moline High to an Illinois 4A title, after the game his coach made a pass at him.  He decided then and there that he wanted to get as far away from Illinois as possible.

Will Higgins
OLB #2
Athens, OH
National Position Rank: #1
Height: 6′3″
Weight: 223 lbs
40 Time: 4.43
Field Awareness: A-
Vertical: 37.5″
Hands: D
Bench: 380
Squat: 620
Potential: Average
Discipline: Poor

With Zelman’s struggles this year, and Jamaal Collins suspension, Arizona desperately needs more people with poor discipline.  Zelman has already sent him a copy of this book to help him prepare for the road ahead and as a way to help with discipline problems.

Jason Weaver
#2 WR
Tampa, FL
199 lbs
40: 4.22
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 41.9″
Hands: A+
Bench: 275
Squat: 385

Jason Weaver is Arizona’s 2nd 5 Star WR recruit.  The first: Justin Abdullah.  Weaver chose to came to Arizona because of their DEEP roster of Quarterbacks and coach Stoops commitment to the long ball.  He was all State in Basketball and Football.  Though he always insists that basketball is his first love, he plays football because everyone has said that’s where he’ll go pro.   His favorite team is the Toronto Raptors, and it was during a recruiting visit from AD Lander that they talked Raptors and he decided to come to UofA.  He also has aspirations of playing on the Wildcats basketball team, and will probably start in a few years.

Kevin Hurst
#3 CB
6’1″ 178
40: 4.33
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 43.7
Hands: B+
Bench: 240
Squat: 400

Kevin Hurst has had a few academic problems in the past.  As a high school senior he was the top CB in the nation and recruited heavily by Ohio State, USC, and Oklahoma.  But when he went to write his SATs he handed in a blank sheet and punched the proctor.  Subsequent testing would reveal that he was illiterate inspite of being on the Dean’s list at his high school.  Two years in Junior College and he is finally reading at an 8th grade level, just enough to get him into the Media Arts program at Arizona.

Four Star

Paul Harrison
#4 FS
Tulare, CA
Wt 202
40: 4.46
Field Awr: A
Hands: A-
Bench: 340
Sq: 520
Pot: Avg.
Discipline: Poor

Tulare is an interesting place with a lot of Portuguese people because of the dairy farms in the region. Harrison has a healthy hatred of the Portuguese, and believes firmly that they should be invaded by Spain and their language should be destroyed.

Also of note, Tulare has the 2nd highest teen pregnancy rate in the United States. Harrison thought that he had impregnated two girls during his senior year, and planned to marry both of them. But subsequent paternity tests proved he was not the father and he decided to come to Arizona. Although there are some who think that boosters Myles V. and Mike B. paid off the women to forge paternity tests.

Marcus White
#4 QB
Roxboro, NC
6′2″, 200 lbs
A- Arm Strength
Bench: 265
S: 385
P: Poor
Disc: Average

Marcus White, is actually white. He is the #2 QB in the nation and fully plans to start at Arizona as a freshman. It will be tough considering: a. Josh Selmon is a senior, b. Dane Wright is a Junior, c. Chad Smith is a redshirt Fr. However it looks like he will probably redshirt and compete with Dane Wright in 2013.

Roxboro, is in the middle of nowhere North Carolina, it’s half white, half black. Only 8% of the city has a Bachelor’s Degree or higher, and now it looks like White will be the first in his family to obtain that degree. He’s the first in his family to go to college. His bitter father has repeatedly told him not to go to college. Repeatedly asking him “what’s the point? you just gonna die.”

Marcus has dreams of a degree in Sports Marketing and a job with the Carolina Hurricanes.

Paul Fontaine
DE, #2
Galena Park, TX
Bench: 380
S: 570
Discipline: Excellent
As a star DE at Galena Park, TX High school, Fontaine worked his hardest to become a star at DE. He was initially a very sickly young boy but through training (and Jesus) he grew into one of Houston’s top DEs and White MCs. Paul Wall took him under his wing and showed him how to drop sweet chopped and screwed rhymes. He was thinking about going to Texas, but decided against it.

Derrick Johnson
#4 SS
Salem, OH
180 lbs
FA: A-
Hands: B
Bench: 325
S: 520
Discipline: Avg

Salem, OH has deep Quaker roots and played a major role in the Women’s Suffrage movement as well.  Johnson’s family is the only remaining African American family that was directly saved by the town.  In 1833 his ancestors were purchased by the town in order to give them their freedom.  But Salem, OH is not a town of idiots, they made them build a primative shopping mall, buggy wash, and baseball field before giving them true freedom.  There were other families who were bought by the town, but eventually they grew sick of the Quaker’s smug self-satisfaction as a town of liberated women, bicycle riders, and vegetarians.  The San Francisco of the Midwest they called it! It was burned to the ground in 1907, and rebuilt by Irish immigrants.  Derrick is the result of the two cultures coming together.  He both loves and hates House of Pain. He also hits really really hard.  Black and Irish pain comes through in every one of his hits.

Robin Turner
#19 QB
6’3″ 198
Fairfield, CA
40: 4.52
Field: B
Arm STR: A
Acc: A+
Bench: 295
Squat: 365
A very late addition to the Wildcat recruiting class.  Coach Stoops made a call to Robin, who was eager to play in the Wildcat system and signed right off the bat.  Fairfield is a very rich suburb of San Francisco, with a very diverse racial makeup.  Although Robin said he was sick of Northern California and wanted some sunshine, although he could not bring himself to move to So Cal.  So Arizona it was.

Bryson Horton
#5 CB
O’Fallon, MO
40: 4.16
Field AWR: A+
Verical Jump: 43.7″
Hands: A+
Bench: 250
Squat: 445
Bryson Horton is fast.  Really fast.  You have you to be when you’re in an all white suburb of St. Louis.  He spent most of his childhood running from the police, angry mobs of white kids, and the track team.  Mastercard’s headquarters are in O’Fallon, and Horton’s grandfather was a janitor at their main building.  As a track star, he qualifed for the US Olympic Team in both the 4×100 and the Bobsled.  Although he always said football was his first love.  His favorite player growing up was Torry Holt.  He wants to play a little WR at Arizona.

Andy Banks
#11 ATH
211 lbs
40: 4.54
Field AWR: B+
Bench: 245
Squat: 450

Jeremy Brown
#11 G
Fort Sill, OK
40: 5.20
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 26.2
Bench: 460
Squat: 680
Thanks to name recognition, Coach Stoops continues to recruit Oklahoma linemen like it’s going out of style.  Jeremy will join the Okie club at Arizona.  Like the other okies, he hates Texas, queers, cities, foreigners, and indie rock.  He loves hip hop, country music, bald eagles, and dogs.  He’s ready to bust some heads.

Chris Wiggins
G #49
331 lbs
40: 5.33
Field: A-
Vert: 27.7
Bench: 515
Squat: 680

Three Star
Andy Palmer
#15 ATH
Superior, AZ
40: 4.24
Field AwR: C+
Vertical Jump: 42.8″
Hands: A+
Bench Press: 225
Squat: 365

Superior Arizona is not big.  A ton of Westerns have been shot there, but it is small (pop. 3254), and not very wealthy.  There isn’t a lot to do out in the middle of the desert but play football, shoot things, and drive.  Andy Palmer was on high school shooting team, driving team, Javelina stabbing team, and of course, football.  He was a star chess team member until he flipped a table over and broke the nose of a visiting player from Russia.  He always loved the Wildcats and considers himself very lucky to be the sole Arizona recruit in this year’s class.

Paul Martin
Altadena, CA
#11 MLB
5’11” 223
40: 4.6
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 30.3
Hands: D+
Bench: 425
Squat: 670
The illegitimate son of former Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin and an African American Lawyer from Los Angeles.  Martin grew up conflicted about his heritage.  He played football to take out his anger towards all things Canadian and his deadbeat father.  He used to envision the opponents as Maple Trees, Coffee Crisps, Ketchup Chips, UN Peacekeepers, and he hit them hard.  He also played TE and deliver some vicious stiff arms.  But then in his senior year, he met his father in Montreal.  The visit was a success, but he got legally drunk at a strip club and punched ten French Canadians for “looking at him sideways” and his hands never recovered (note the D+ rating).  Now he hopes that he can parlay his Arizona career into a CFL career (like Rob Waldrop).  He has said publicly that he hopes his rights are picked up by the Edmonton Eskimos or the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

Lawrence Garcia
Torrance, CA
#27 RB
40: 4.35
Vert: 35″
Hands: A-
Bench: 345
Squat: 605
Garcia, like Patrick Rodriguez is actively working to raise the profile of Latinos in sports.  He worked hard throughout high school, and avoided the temptation to join a gang.  He had offers from Arizona State, USC, and UCLA but decided he needed to get out of California to better understand Latinos in other states.  He has already pledged to volunteer in Nogales, AZ, and with various other cross cultural organizations.  He has talent, and could be a great 3rd down back, but will really struggle to find his way into the starting lineup.

AJ Nichols
Rohnert Park, CA
288 LBS
Tackle #45
40: 5.18
Vert: 27″
Bench: 495
Squat: 645
AJ is a wine snob.  Growing up in Sonoma, he is the team’s Sommelier and has been known to get into fights over people drinking Zinfandel.  He once tasted a Miller Lite at a high school party, spit it out, found the host, punched her in the face, and left.  The next day he sent her a case from his family’s winery.  He views Arizona as a chance to play football and get the rubberstamp he needs to take over the family vineyards.

Todd Evans
Fort Worth, TX
#48 Tackle
40: 5.20
Vert: 27″
Bench: 485
Squat: 670
Simply put, Todd Evans is gigantic.  He has all the physical traits that should make him a 5 star recruit, but he got downgraded to 3 stars because of off the field problems.  He has a bit of a drinking problem, and some fear that his roommate (AJ Nichols) will only make the problem worse.  He has also already sent threatening emails to all of his teammates from Oklahoma.

Marcus Adams
#40 QB (will be cut)

Patrick Bradley
#41 QB (will be cut)
Colleyville, TX

Brian Warren
McAllen, TX
#53 QB (will be cut)

These three quarterbacks showed up unannounced to the University and all expect to make the team.  Coach Stoops has already tried to send them home but they won’t leave until they are officially cut.

Class Rankings
1. Ohio State
2. Wisconsin
3. Arizona
4. Miami
5. Oklahoma
6. USC
7. Texas A&M
8. West Virginia
9. Iowa
10. Alabama