Tucson, AZ – Jason Weaver has gotten into the habit of calling press conferences, apparently he stole the rolodex from the Communications Director and has been calling reporters to the common room of his dorm. Today he released his list of the “Top 5” and “Bottom 5” Arizona Wildcats.

The Top Five list is as follows:

#1 Jason Weaver
#2 Ben Weaver
#3 Dane Wright
#4 Joel Little
#5 Mark Jean

Amazingly, all five are black, and play offense.

his bottom five:
#1 Michael Rushing
#2 Greg Brock
#3 Andrew Schlicter
#4 Jeremy “Douche” Doucette
#5 Luis Larson

While many agreed with Larson on the list, they were curious why no defensive players were on the list. To which Weaver responded “We have a defense? Did you watch the Oregon Game?” After hearing that John Lewis made a bee line for the podium and punched Weaver in the face, with cameras rolling. Weaver has no injuries, but seems to have learned his lesson. When asked for a comment after the punch, Lewis kicked the reporter in the kidneys – she is expected to make a full recovery.

With the Arizona State game looming, and a possible bid in the national championship game, Weaver couldn’t have picked a worse time for this stunt. Arizona State’s head coach has said that Weaver has a coaching position waiting for him after graduation because he’s never seen some one do so much damage to the Wildcats.

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