danetojasoncal2013.jpgBerkeley, CA – Dane, Dane, Dane.  He’s the star of this offense.  He only completed 8 of 16, and yet still had 253 yards passing, and 4 TDs.  However, while most times these numbers would reflect Dane’s arm strength, in this case, it was the strength of his recievers and Cal’s inability to stop the YACs that led to the big numbers.  Dwayne Jones, Jason Weaver and even Jeremey Doucette (yes, even the douche!) caught balls less than 15 yards from scrimmage and took them to the end zone.

“I’ll be honest,” said Wright about Doucette’s touchdown. “I thought I was throwing to Ben (Weaver), the sun was bright and I couldn’t see the numbers, or those dumb blue arm sleeves.  Although, I love them, it makes it easier to find him on the field, then look for another reciever.”

On the ground, the Wildcats ran up over 300 yards rushing thanks to Dane scrambling 15 times for 88 yards, and Isaiah Jones rushing 4 times for 100 yards! (he broke off an 88 yard run in the 4th quarter).  Amazingly, it looks like Jones has been named starter for the rest of the season and Spencer will sit.

“So? I’m still rich,” said Spencer of the announcement. “I’m going to be a systems analyst anyways, screw the NFL.”

After experimenting with the Hawaii Playbook last week, Coach Stoops shifted to the BYU Playbook and is considering a full conversion to Mormonism.mylescal2013.jpg

“It’s a pretty good playbook,” said Stoops.  “There is a good mix of run and pass and it really opens the field for a mobile quarterback.  Also, I like how they focus on family values.  I’m really thinking about converting, although (Athletic Director) Lander has been trying to push me to Scientology.  But I doubt they have any good playbooks.”

Quick Notes:

  • The defense looked strong, and had a season high 7 sacks.
  • Patrick Rodriguez hit hard and forced a fumble
  • Freshman Howard Coleman had 7 tackles and looked solid
  • Pierre Long of Colorado (the reason why theWildcats lost) has rushed for 1000 yards and 11 touchdowns, and we’re only FIVE GAMES into the season
  • Jason Weaver is the #1 Heisman Contender
  • Arizona is still #5 in the Coaches and moved up to #6 in the Media Polls.
  • Noted booster Myles V. was in attendance.
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