Tucson, AZ – Jason Weaver called a press conference in his dorm room again and promised the national press core that he had secret footage on the Notre Dame defense. After feeding the media mini-quiches and a few delicious spring rolls, he sat them down and said the following.

“I have been conducting extensive research on Notre Dame,” said Weaver. “I have sent my brothers down south to do some important investigations and get footage.”

To which he showed this video:

“Their research has been absolutely essential to me. These are some of the smartest people I’ve ever worked with.”

“I have also learned that their defense is very small, but very, very, very aggressive. They mostly have bad teeth too. And somehow they know Jennifer Aniston.”

Jason Weaver opened the floor for questions. But only responded by saying “Leprechauns man, LEPRECHAUNS.”

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