weaverprotester.jpgEugene, OR – The Arizona Wildcats, and particularly Jason Weaver, made it their mission to humiliate the Oregon Ducks, and they succeeded.

Prior to the game Jason Weaver drove his Escalade all the way up to Oregon and got egged by white dreads who called him a ‘gas guzzling, earth destroyer.’

“What’s the deal with these jerks,” said Weaver.  “I come up here to share some music, I blast “Black up it’s da Back Up,” and they hit me with eggs.  I was not happy, so I said I was gonna tear them up.  Then they said something about football diverting resources for academics.  So I set some styrofoam on fire and threw delousing powder on the white dreads.  Then I decided to take it out on the Ducks.”

Jason Weaver had 8 catches, 276 yards, and 5 total TDs.  Including 1 rushing TD from when he lined up at Quarterback.  Stoops let him throw a pass which was a mistake.

“Man, Jason has skills,” said Quarterback Chad Smith who went 23/30 for 349 yards and 5 TDs. “But throwing is not one of them.”

Defensively, Travis Bailey somehow had two more sacks.  And Patrick Rodriguez had seven tackles, a TFL, a forced fumble and a fumble recovery.  He is a legit superstar.

The game was not eventful, Arizona crushed the Ducks.  They are now #5 in the BCS and have virtually no chance of reaching the title game.