uschoward2017.jpgLos Angeles, CA – Without Redwood Haynes and his burning desire to destroy Southern California’s richest private school, the Arizona Wildcats could not keep up with the experience laden Trojans.

Without starting QB Brent Robinson, backup Clarence Howard was thrown to the Lions in his first ever start.  Citing his faith as his main inspiration, Howard went 14/28 for 199 yards and four interceptions.  Four horsemen of the apocalypse, bad luck in Chinese culture, it’s no coincidence.

“They were too strong for me,” said Howard after the game.  “I let so many people down, I just, wasn’t good enough.”

Mormon Children throughout the state, and most notably in Mesa, AZ are converting to Catholocism and Scientology in record numbers.

“He was my hero,” said Danny Smith, an 11 year old from Mesa.  “I saw him and I thought, Mormons can do anything.  Now, after getting smoked by USC, I just don’t know.  Scientologists seem to be doing pretty well in Hollywood, and I guess I should become an actor now. It seems easier than having Clarence as a hero.”

On the ground, USC completely destroyed the Wildcats.  Arizona’s Alan Barron carried 13 times for 73 yards and fumbled twice.  But his USC rival Joe Atkinson was outstanding, going 13/96 1 TD.usc2017lossatkinson.jpg

USC was also using their backup quarterback, Rasheed Hampton (white) who performed well gong  11/22, 158 and a TD, but he used his legs well too.

“I kept it maaad real,” said Rasheed after the game.  “A white boy named Rasheed has more to prove, and I proved it.  What? You can’t see me!”

But the real killer was USC’s senior filled defense who shut down all aspects of Arizona’s west coast offensive system.  OLB Carl Anderson was a terror with 6 Tackles, 4 TFL, and 2 Sacks, senior CB Ray Marquardt had 5 tackles, 2 INTs.

On the Arizona side, only Quinn Scott played well with 5 tackles 1 TFL, 1 Forced fumble. Jay Gibson 53 yard FG – pretty good game.

Arizona drops to #12

Pac Ten Winning Streak is over after six plus years and 49 games.  There is not one player on the team who can even remember losing a Pac Ten game.

“What is this feeling,” said Josh Diles after the game.  “Losing a Pac Ten game?  We have to call some alumni who were here in 2011.”

aktinsontd2017usc.jpg

Advertisements