recruitmap2018.jpgRecruiting Map

Matt Jenkins
#1 Guard
Diamond Bar, CA
275 lbs
40: 5.16
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 29.7″
Bench: 480
Squat: 690
Pot: Avg.
Dis: Avg.
5 Star

Diamond Bar is pretty much half white, half Asian and used to be the first master planned community in California. Snoop Dogg and Omarion are from here, but Matt is not into hip hop, he’s not into rock. He’s into Cantonese Pop, and Chinese girls…big time. He has a serious Pokemon collection, he loves Anime, Manga, and has only dated Asian girls since a white girl dissed him at a game of spin the bottle in the 5th grade. He was going to go to Berkeley or UCLA, but when he was in Tucson he went a sweet Party by the Asian American Association and picked up a smoking hot Asian girl from Orange County. He’s pretty pumped about their future relationship.

Jamal O’Neill
5’8″ 210 lbs
Aurora, OH
40: 4.41
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 36.9
Hands: A-
Bench: 340
Squat: 555
Pot: poor
Dis: Poor
Wanted to play for a big time coach
Four STar

Aurora is a rich white suburb, where the average income is $78k. Jim Thome and Ty Detmer are residents, but Jamal O’Neill didn’t grow up rich. His father Rondell grew up on East 99th and St. Clair in Cleveland and as soon as he turned 18 he got out of there and just started walking east. His plan was to walk to New York, NY and become a rapper for Children who taught them to be smart. But one day he fell asleep on a park bench in Aurora, and when he woke up, there was Ty Detmer’s father offering him a job as a groundskeeper at the Aurora Golf and Country Club. Rondell got really into groundskeeping and bought a little house right near the course. It was the smallest house on the block, and was pretty much built and priced just for Rondell, so he could live near his job. Jamal grew up thinking that his dad was being patronized by the golfers. And hates golf and golfers with a firey passion. He only listens to thugged out hip hop, and one time he shot a gun when he was visiting his cousin in Cleveland. They were hanging out at the bus station and just wanted to scare some out of towners. Jamal hopes to continue thugging at UofA.

Jeremy McCarthy
#1 WR
Crystal Lake, IL
6’1″ 182
40: 4.16 – A BURNER
Field AWR: C+
Vert: 41.6″
Hands: A+
Bench: 240
Squat: 350
Potential Average
Dis: poor
PRestige Not a factor
Pac Man Jones is his hero
Five Star

Crystal Lake is less than half a percent black. Jeremy McCarthy was raised by a very wealthy, successful retired laywer from Chicago, who moved to the small town to raise her son. Jeremy’s father was a reciever for the Bears who knocked up his mom when she was doing some legal work for him. Once she got that paternity money, she stopped working and opened a small bookstore so she could spend more time with her son. But Jeremey wanted to be a thug so bad, he started a gang called the “Lakerz” and they wore purple and gold. It’s how they identified themselves against their rival gang – the “The Broncoz” – but they used Orange and a brigher blue so they spent a ton of money on ebay getting the right colors from vintage clothes. Jeremy was in and out of trouble for breaking windows, selling tiny amounts of weed that he bought from some old stoner who lived on the outskirts of town, and for release a rap single where he called his Principal a “bitch ass trick.” He has a real problem with authority and has promised to change his name when he turns 18 in October to “Pac Man” in order to honor his hero. He said he wants to celebrate his birthday at Tens, or TD’s East.

Jordan Rodriguez
Bellflower, CA
#2 FB
5’11” 226
Field AWR: A-
Vert: 38.1″
Hands: A-
Bench: 360
Squat: 445
Pot: poor
Dis: Good
Loves Stoops
Mexican, Military Father
Four Star

Bellflower is a lower middle class city in Los Angeles county – pretty much split 50/50 between white and latino. Jordan Rodriguez is actually Jordan Rodriguez IV the son of Jordan Rodriguez III, a stern man who was born in Nogales, AZ, joined the Marines, won a purple heart in Iraq, then retired to Bellflower where he worked full time and attended USC Law. He eventually graduated and operated a non-profit law firm to protect recent immigrants from predatory lenders. Jordan’s mother was a stay at home mom who raised Jordan and his two sisters. One of his sisters is studying at Yale, and the other is dating Daddy Yankee. Needless to say, the family has a pretty solid favorite ranking. Jordan will join the military upon completion of his degree at Arizona. He is a great kid, who is focused, disciplined, and kind.

Antonio Bryant Jr.
6’1″ 222 lbs
Stockton, CA
Four Star
Field AWR: A
VerT: 41.0″
Hands: A+
Bench: 275
Squat: 470

Bryant’s mother used to be a stipper in Dallas, and after a particularly wild night with former Pitt Panther star Antonio Bryant, she thought she was pregnant. She legally changed her last name to Bryant, and named her on Antonio Bryant in anticipation of a great child support windfall. However, after paying support for a month, Bryant decided to have a paternity test and it turns out that he was not the father. The real father was a rapper named Jerry Jonez (ne Jerry Watson) who took is name from the Cowboys owner and even released a local single called “My Wheels are so hot they melt the road.” It was not a success. When he found out that he was the father, he actually sought out Ms. Bryant for a “stud fee.” He was rebuked, but the experience scared her enough to move to Stockton California and take a job with Diamond Foods. Young Antonio always pretended his father as the great reciever and worked extra hard to become a great talent.

Glenn Chapman
Trindad, CO
6’6″, 188 lbs
#12 QB
4 stars
Field AWR: A-
Arm Strength: A+
Pass Acc: B+
Bench: 315
Squat: 510

Glenn’s father Dexter was an immigrant from Jamaica who thought he was moving to Trindad the country. But somehow got on the wrong plane and ended up in Trindad, Colorado. He complained a lot about the cold, but got really into skiing and decided to stay. He ended up marrying the only other black person in town, a woman named Raylene. Unfortunately, Dexter soon discovered that Raylene used to be Ray Johnson who came to Trindad for a sex change. It turns out the smallish town is the Sex Change Capital of the world” for the work done in the 1960s by Stanley Biber. Dexter was pissed, but he wasn’t a quitter. So he kept trying and trying and somehow he was able to fashion a rudimentary set of fallopian tubes and a uterus and got Raylene pregnant. Though Dexter holds to this story, many suspect that Dexter actually had a mini olympics of his illegitimate kids in Jamaica and picked the fastest one and brought him back to Colorado. Either way, Glenn was a born athlete and set all kinds of records in Colorado. He loves soca music, supports stabbings in certain situations, and is very tolerant of transgender people.

Brett Doty
Fullerton, CA
6’5″ 244
#24 DE
4 Stars
Field AWR: D+ (he is DUMB)
Vert: 36.6″
BencH: 370
Squat: 500

Brett Doty was born to play football. As a toddler he played pop warner and set the Fullerton rushing record, it was amazing to see him stumble forward and knock all the kids down. By the time he was six, he had a scholarship offer to the University of Florida, but after he failed the sixth grade for the 4th time, they revoked it. The local high school actually helped him heat on a middle school equivalency so he could play for them. He led them to a State title and teh scholarship offers came back. But when we went to take the SAT, he ate his test, claiming he had never seen a pencil before, and the only paper he saw was money or a burger wrapper. He ended up going to a community college where he barely passed his classes, thanks to having some of his stoner friends write his tests. He is at Arizona and plans to get a degree in “learning.” He is illiterate, and can barely speak English, he mostly grunts.

Jimmy Foster
South Gate, CA
6’6″ 264
#14 DE
Four Stars
40: 4.56
Field AWR: B
Vert: 35.7″
Bench: 395
Squat: 545

Continuing the strong recruiting pipeline of the Los Angeles area, Coach Stoops went right back to pluck this Defensive End out of South Gate. In the 1950s, gangs of white kids used to roam the streets looking for black people, and the city was one of the most segragated in Southern California. But as time passed, South Gate became a predominantly latino suburb, and with 92% of the population listed as latino, and only 1% black. Jimmy Foster was the son of a working class black man named Ezekiel (Ezell) Foster, who married a latino woman named Lupe. They raised Jimmy with core values and a love of the Delfonics. To this day, he calls women “ma’am” and will not swear. When he was in high school he got made fun of constantly for being so polite, then someone tried to punch him, he caught it, stared him down, and said “what would jesus do?” and the gangbanger started crying.

Converted the next day.

Brandon Henderson
Woodlawn, MD
6’3″ 202
#11 WR
4 Stars
40: 4.43
Field AWR: B
Vert: 42.2″ WHOA!
Hands: A+
Bench: 270
Squat: 510 (WHOA!)
Four Star

Woodlawn is the original home of Doug Flutie, Darren Flutie, and Tracy Ham. With all of this CFL history in one place, Brandon Henderson had no choice but to grow up a CFL Fan. His father used to gather the family around to hear stories about the 1996 Baltimore Stallions Grey Cup victory. Brandon always dreamed of growing up and playing for the Montreal Alouettes, which is where the Stallions moved after they ran out of money. Woodlawn is 50 percent black, and Brandon got made fun of for loving Canada so much. But he didn’t care. He just made them poutine, and they thought he was cool. The fact that he was All City and led them to a State Title in Basketball and Hockey probably helped. He also boned 2 white girls by pretending to be from Canada.

Matt Jones
Tiffin, OH
6’6″ 175 lbs
#5 WR
40: 4.16 (yes!)
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 41.0″
Hands: A+
Bench: 250
Squat: 315
Five Star

Tiffin, OH is a small town in Ohio that revolves around High School Football, specifically COlumbian High. Matt Jones was the best player to ever come out of Columbian, and he basked in the glory. His ego was out of control by the time he was fourteen. At age sixteen, he published a book of poetry about himself – the second best selling book behind the bible in Tiffin history. By 17 he recorded 2 albums – one hip hop and one country, just so more people could hear his music. All songs about him, highlights include “Imma catch deez balls” (often misintepreted), “I left that corner back for the endzone” (country). In his senior year he made a 2 hour long documentary about himself that he screened at the first and only Tiffin Matt Jones International Film Festival. He plans to study writing at Arizona so he can write his autobiography. He has presales of 2000 in Tiffin. His friend Mike Berkholtz came to Arizona just to tape everything (and possibly score some girls that Jones deems unacceptable).

Jones considers Jason Weaver a hero, and Weaver has given him permission to wear #19.

Ronnie Lyles (WHT)
Northbrook, OH
6’5″ 228 lbs
#16 QB (Joe Montana Numbers!)
40: 4.78
Field Awr: A+
Arm Strength:A+
Pass Accuracy: C+
Bench: 350
Squat: 510 (DAMN)
Four Star

Ronnie Lyles grew up in a town just outside of Cincinnati, OH. He is the definition of a frat boy. He had the same girlfriend from Grade 9-12 but he cheated on her a lot. She was smoking hot, and knew about the cheating but stayed with him for the popularity boost. He owns 62 Poloshirts, he wears 2 everyday and pops the collar on both. Each shirt applies to a number in the month from 1 to 31. One time, a friend puked on his “the 15th” shirt and he flipped out. He made him buy him 2 new shirts from Abercrombie. He then had to wash the old shirts, Lyles autographed them and sold them to a Freshman girl for $200, she used them in a special goth curse that was supposed either make him fall in love with her or die. It didn’t work. Ronnie plans to join a frat as soon as he can, and sleep with as many “blonde girls from California and imitation-california, also known as Phoenix” as possible.

James Moss
Orange Grove, MS
6’1″ 165
#12 CB
Four Star
Field AWR: A+
Vert: 40.1″
Hands: B
Bench: 205
Squat: 445
Four stars

Moss was a week 4 addition to the Wildcats. Coach Stoops just threw out the offer thinking he didn’t have a chance. But Moss was only being recruited by Southern Schools – Alabama, Auburn, Miss State, LSU, and he wanted to move out west and pursue a career as an actor. He always had to hide his love of Shakespeare and the stage and pretend to be a gangster in Orange Grove, a tiny town just outside of PAscagoula, a coastal town in southern Mississippi. Moss’s dad was a fisherman, and wanted more for his son – he wanted him to play in the NFL or be an accountant. Moss was too scared to tell his dad about his dream of acting so he put his efforts into football and became a star corner. One time he scored a touchdown, and read a soliloquy from Macbeth but someone in the crowd called him a “british fag” and he never let his true love come out again. He plans to study theater at Arizona.

Courtney Wilson
Camarillo, CA
#32 G
6’5″ 316 lbs
40: 5.33
Field AWR: A
Vert: 26.2″
Bench: 530
Squat: 690
Three Stars

Camarillo is a sleepy town in Ventura county mostly made up of suburban houses and strip malls. It’s boring. Courtney made things more interesting by performing Jackass like stunts – jumping off roofs, setting stuff on fire, and peeing in inappropriate places. He got caught taking a dump at mid court during a basketball game (he was the center), and the principal demanded that he play football or face explusion. He decided he would do it if the principal let him fart in his mouth. Lets just say Adolfo Camarillo High School won a city football title, and the principal’s lunches still taste like rotting egg. Wilson is ‘looking forward to blowing shit up in the desert.’

Biggest Heart Break
Timothy Alvarez from Litchfield Park, AZ
FIVE STAR CB – #1 in the US
Strings ARIZONA ALONG then signs with ASU – THE WAR IS ON

Went hard after a superstar QB from Philly – signed with PSU

Lost TE Bruce Jackson from West Hollywood to ASU!

Top Classes
School 5 4 3 2 1
#1 Texas 2 15 1 1 0
#2 Miami 1 16 5 3 0
#3 PSU 4 7 9 4 1
#4 A&M 2 10 13 0 0
#5 USC 1 13 9 2 0
#6 ASU 4 6 10 1 4
#7 Wisc. 1 8 12 2 1
#8 Arkansas 1 6 16 2 0
#9 Arizona 3 10 1 0 0
#10 OSU 1 8 11 3 1

Arizona’s Top Recruits
Matt Jenkins
J. McCarthy
Matt Jones

Arms race in the desert
almost all top WRs are going to either ASU or UA