New York, NY – The Toronto Raptors (#2 in the NBA Power Rankings) lost their opening game of the season to the newly powerful New York Knicks (three players with the star logo). The loss is directly attributable to Hakan Mansiz’s bruised tailbone. When he’s not 100% the Raptors cannot hope to be 100%

“I am sore,” said Mansiz after the game. “My English, not so much good.”

Monte Clement from Montreal is really the only player on the team who can speak proper English said that the Knicks with Danny Granger, Derrick Johansen, and Tyrus Thomas are really a solid team.

“We only lost by two,” said Clement. “Mansiz was hurt, what do you want? And Gasol is getting tired really easily. I think he’s started smoking weed.”

Also of note Ernesto Oliviero proved himself to be the most reliable Raptor and will likely find himself in the starting rotation as the aging Jose Calderon will have to step down to prevent Oliverio from trying to leave in the of season.